Why I maintain hope

I’m curious about the way things turn out. I think it’s worth it to be hopeful about life because you don’t know what will happen. Life is mysterious in that way. Uncertainty causes so much suffering and yet uncertainty is the most hopeful thing about the experience of being human. We don’t know how the split will come down between experiences of suffering and of non-suffering, but it’s worth it to see how that may turn out.

I think compassion and connection feel good. It’s painful when you’ve been traumatized in some way, when life feels dangerous, and connection with others seems impossible. If you are able to work through that pain, and you have access to the experience of nonjudgmental present moment awareness, of kindness, of your connection with others, it just feels good. And, it feels really good in the way that a really great night of sleep feels good. That is, it’s wonderful in its own right and it also makes everything else feel better too.

I think courage is rewarding for its own sake. I think we have natural drives towards growth throughout our lifespans. Courage requires integrity. It requires knowing yourself and facing yourself, of understanding your limits and having the ability to set reasonable goals. When you act with courage in the face of something that scares you, there’s typically either an underlying value you have to help you overcome that fear or the fear itself signals something you value. That is, you might have a fear of flying and face it to live out your values and vacation with your family again. Or, you might have social anxiety and face it because you care about being a loving friend. Both scenarios require integrity and courage. Where your anxiety might demoralize you and make you feel distant from your goals, courage realigns you with the life you want and makes your life meaningful.

I think we are meaning-making machines, while maintaining that it’s a mystery as to whether life is purposeful in some way outside of ourselves. All religious systems attempt to at least reflect on that mystery. Psychologically speaking, wherever you arrive religiously, you can look at your direct experience and find that how life goes matters to yourself and other people. Meaning-making is a natural drive. People look for meaning in the circumstances they are born into. They look for meaning in the opportunities that arise in their lives. They look for meaning in their work, in their relationships, in their internal experience. They look for meaning in suffering and attempt to make sense of it. One way to think about it is, while we’re here, we might as well try to live well and alleviate suffering. One way to do that is to embrace the natural, instinctual drive to make meaning and develop a life that is meaningful to you.

I maintain hope because I’m curious about how life will turn out and I value courage, compassion, and connection. In general the mystery of life seems meaningful to me.