Understanding post-event processing
Post-event processing is a term from social anxiety research. It is used to describe the combination of worry, rumination, and self-criticism an individual with social anxiety experiences after a social event. I use it to refer to the after-effects of every anxious situation or after you challenge depression. The way I use the word is to include to the experience you might have after something you worried about doesn’t happen, after behavioral activation, or after you spent a lot of time doing compulsions.
Recovery from anxiety, OCD, and depression starts at the end of the process of challenging it. When you attack yourself during post-event processing, the feelings you experience are aversive. You are teaching your body that anxiety or depression is a threat, because after you experience it, you are going to experience self-criticism and shame. As you learn about the processes that maintains your anxiety, OCD, and depression, pay attention to how you treat yourself after the (mostly) functionally synonymous experiences called exposures, experiments, behavioral activation, and intentional or incidental practice.
If you treat yourself with compassion after you challenge your suffering, no matter the outcome, you will reduce your future anticipatory anxiety and it will be easier to see these challenging experiences as an opportunity rather than a threat.
The repetitive negative thinking patterns that occur during post-event processing include concepts including worry, rumination, mental compulsions, and self-criticism. The concept of post-event processing is useful because of its ability to increase your motivation to get distance from unhelpful thoughts and feelings.
The first step to the therapeutic attitude of acceptance is expecting and labeling your moment of suffering as the voice of anxiety, OCD, or depression. In doing so, you’re saying:
• This is a false alarm, not a real problem for me.
• I accept that this is a part of my experience right now. I’m not going to pretend like this doesn’t happen to me.
• I have compassion for myself for having this experience. Given that I have this experience, I should respond to it as effectively as I can.
When you are able to pull up this attitude, you will also be able to head into an anxious episode and predict:
Anticipatory anxiety Doing nothing to resist it or make it go away is powerful and intentional stance. Just like other parts of the anxious pattern, every time you label and actively accept what you’re experiencing, your mind is less likely to associate that experience as something to fear. The anticipatory anxiety may not dissipate at this moment, but you’re setting yourself up for success in future moments.
• Self-talk: Anticipatory anxiety is a feeling, not a fact, threat, message, or prediction. Anticipatory anxiety is an indication of my past, not my future. I beat myself up after situations like this in the past, so now my body is pumping me with adrenaline to try to get me to run away from it this time. It doesn’t predict situational anxiety unless I believe it. Anticipatory anxiety means that I’m doing something important, values-based, challenging, and consistent with who I want to become. I’m practicing staying with my anticipatory anxiety without adding second fear.
Challenge situational anxiety and behavioral activation Attend to the anxiety-provoking situation or the task that you committed to (which may or may not provoke distress at that moment). Focus attention on the situation, rather than whether or not you feel anxious or depressed and what it means or doesn’t mean. Situational anxiety could be either intentional or incidental. Behavioral activation can be a chosen distress tolerance task or an obligation you don’t choose. If you frame it as an opportunity, it can serve as a helpful exposure or experiment.
• Self-talk: Excitement and nervousness feel the same. I feel excited that I’m challenging myself to grow beyond my comfort zone. It’s time to focus on my task, rather than my sensations, feelings, or thoughts. Now is a good time to set a behavioral goal — something I can do with my arms and legs — rather than a goal for what I should think or feel.
Post-event processing Expect post-event processing and reframe it as the consequence of being tired and sensitized after an exposure or experiment rather than a threat. If you said or did something about which you actually feel embarrassed or guilty, assess whether there is any way to problem solve (for instance, by correcting an error or apologizing).
You can’t make mistakes or offend people if you don’t try, but you also can’t grow and change if you don’t try. Putting forth effort towards anything puts you at risk for feeling judged, rejected, embarrassed, guilty, ashamed, and regretful. The most reasonable stance is to surrender to these possibilities in order to move towards a rich, full, and meaningful life.
• Self-talk: My body is sensitized and my mind is sticky because I just did something that is anxiety provoking. I do not need to judge the outcome of what just happened. I am going to bring up the conditions of pride and stay with them, so that I have the opportunity to shift this moment from one that makes me feel stuck, to one that heals me.
Common worries during post-event processing:
What if I said or did something wrong? What if I said something boring, stupid, or offensive? What is that person going to think of me because of what I said or did?
I feel fine now, but what if I start thinking about this again? What if it ruins my night or my weekend? What if I can’t sleep because of it? What if I can’t concentrate because of it? What if I fall into an anxiety or depressive spiral? How do I know that I’m not going to feel bad later and how do I know that I’ll be able to cope at that time?
Here’s some alternative self-talk to try:
• I typically worry after situations like this. What if nothing is wrong and I just have leftover sensitivity? Is it just anxiety and uncertainty that I feel or are there other feelings here? Where are those feelings in my body? What sensations come along with those feelings? If I were going to describe the sensations that make up anxiety as though I am teaching a child, how would I describe what the sensations are? I am human and every human has these sensations. How can I take care of myself right now?
Common rumination during post-event processing:
Why did I say or do what I did? What is wrong with me? Will this ever stop happening to me? Why do I have this feeling? Is this because of that thing that happened in the past to me? What if I’m inherently broken? Does this mean that I’m hopeless, worthless, and unlovable?
Here’s some alternative self-talk to try:
• I typically ruminate after situations like this. What if I didn’t actually make a mistake, but rather my mind is just sticky? I’m noticing thoughts of hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness. I wonder what my feeling is under that? Where is that feeling in my body? I am human and every human has this feeling. How can I take care of myself right now?
Common mental compulsions for those with OCD during post-event processing:
I feel really anxious and uncertain. I can feel my mind is scanning everything that just happened to me to make sure one of my feared outcomes hasn’t occurred or will not occur. What if I made a mistake? What if I hurt someone? What if I touched something that will contaminate me or someone else? What if I was thinking something I shouldn’t have been thinking and that means I’m creepy, weird, or a bad person?
I feel fine right now. What does that mean? Does it mean I don’t actually care about the content areas I fear and what would does that mean? What if I feel anxious later and I can’t handle it? Oh no! Now I’m anxious. What does that mean? Did I do something wrong?
Here’s some alternative self-talk to try:
• I typically have compulsive replay after situations like this. What if I didn’t actually make a mistake, but rather my mind is just sticky? It will take some time for my mind to stop buying into this replay as something that is helpful to me. Can I bring the compulsive replay along with during my day without engaging with it? It’s hard to concentrate when I have replay in the background. As I choose to redirect my attention, I’m surrendering to the possibility that these thoughts will intrude and cause me distress. I’m choosing not to respond as though the intrusions require problem-solving or attention. I am human and every human sometimes has intrusions. How can I take care of myself right now?
Common self-criticism during post-event processing:
I can’t believe that made me anxious! I’m better than that! I should have had the skills to not get anxious. I should be able to respond better when I do. Now I’m worried, ruminating, and mental compulsing. I’m never going to get over this and I’m never going to get my life back. This is hopeless.
I can’t believe I actually said or did that! AND I can’t believe I didn’t say or do that! Why am I such an expletive? Why can’t I do anything right? I’m never going to change if I keep this up?
Here’s some alternative self-talk to try:
• I typically have self-criticism after situations like this. Let me orient my thinking toward what I did right. Where do I see growth in myself compared to some point in the past? Where am I continuing to get stuck? What thinking patterns or behavioral patterns are still common for me, such that I’m prone to get stuck? I’m choosing act as though I am proud of what just happened. I tried something and therefore I gave myself the chance to learn and grow.