Worthiness vs. worthlessness

It’s hard for many parents to accurately assess the skills, talents, interests, and potential within their children and provide the appropriate scaffolding to support growth without adding their own projections about who they want their child to be. As a result, many children grow up with unattainable, elusive criteria for worthiness. What you were taught about who you can be may not fit your actual potential and/or was a projection from one or both of your parents.

The actual criteria for worthiness is much looser in adulthood than it is in childhood. There are many subcultures to try out and many in which you will fit in. There are many places to enjoy living, many people with whom to fall in love, and many types of job possibilities. Someone who starts from a place of worthiness about love, friendship, and work experiences excitement about the discovery of what to do and with whom.

If you feel worthless, consider that it might not be the truth about you.

It might be an environmental stressor, like a breakup or a job transition, that is stressing your sense of self-worth. As we work together to frame your situation differently, you may find it easier to act from a place of worthiness until you feel worthy. And, if you persistently feel worthless, it is even less likely to be true about you and more likely to be an environment that makes you feel worthless plus behaviors that reinforce that feeling. Get curious about the messages you have received about worthiness and see how you can challenge them.